Our Neighbors Called the Cops on My 5-Year-Old. Twice! The Reason Why Might Send Us Packing.

Pay Dirt is Slate’s money advice column. Have a question? Send it to Kristin and Ilyce here. (It’s anonymous!)

Dear Pay Dirt, 

Our next-door neighbors were really welcoming when we first moved into our new home. Within weeks, though, they started complaining that our son was too loud and that he was “bothering” their dogs. He’s 5 years old and rambunctious, and he’s attracted to furry animals, which makes it really hard to keep him away from fun, furry floofs!

We tried talking it out with our neighbors, but they lodged a complaint with our HOA, presented us with a massive bill for repainting their fence after our son drew on it with chalk, and twice called the police because he was “trespassing” on their property (he entered their garden uninvited to play with their dogs).

We’re at our wits end. We are seriously considering selling up and moving, as we can’t reasonably expect a child to forever remain indoors. But it will result in a loss we cannot afford.

Is there any way to fix this situation? We feel like we’re being bullied out of our home, but our neighbors are operating well within the law and their rights.

—Homewrecker

Dear Homewrecker,

The problem isn’t your neighbors, their fence, or their fluffy dogs. The problem is you and your belief that your darling, rambunctious 5-year-old has the right to run into other people’s yards, play or tease their animals, and draw on their property.

He doesn’t. Find a way to keep your son in line, even if that means fencing in your yard and keeping the gate locked so he can’t get out without you unlocking it. Explaining why he can’t run wild in the neighborhood will teach him about respecting other people’s property, a lesson that will stand him in good stead throughout his life.

As the cliché goes, good fences make good neighbors.

Dear Pay Dirt, 

A couple of years ago, after a sudden breakup, my ex-fiancée moved out, leaving me with a small three-bedroom in a major city. It was too much space for just me, so I had one of my best friends, “Callie,” move in. She was going to take one room, so I charged her one-fourth of the rent. I was happy for the help with the rent, and I like living with her (we’d lived together before). It felt like an equitable split. Eventually, my new partner also moved in, also paying one-fourth of the rent. I own my own business and my income is higher than both of theirs, so it felt like the right move. It was all good.

Late last year, our building got mice. We tried everything to deal with the issue, and our management was largely unhelpful. The mice would steal my elderly cat’s food, my cat’s paw got stuck in a glue trap, and my partner and I even woke up to a mouse running on our bed frame! It was an untenable situation, and I knew we had to get out of it. I finally insisted we break the lease and move.

My partner and I did everything—looked for the new place, prepared for the move. I became the leaseholder in the new place and the main decisionmaker.

It was a major upgrade, from a small three-bedroom where we all felt like we were on top of each other to a more spacious two-bed, two-bath, where we all have privacy in a luxury building with amenities.

Because the move was short notice, I fronted the move, including all upfront costs, moving costs, and everyone’s amenities (there is also a yearly amenities fee for every occupant in addition to our rent). In all, this was tens of thousands of dollars. It took Callie months to pay me back for her share of these costs.

Rent is more expensive, but I asked for the same split: one-fourth of the rent from my partner and one-fourth from Callie. This works out to a few hundred dollars a month more for each of them, and about a $1,000 more for me. My partner pays the one-fourth rent with no problem. Callie argued that she only wanted to pay $100 more than our old lease. She’s under pretty permanent financial strain. She doesn’t make much at her job, which she hates, and isn’t looking for a different one. She has a chronic illness, which complicates things, and she has a hefty student loan bill. I agreed to the $100 more a month, temporarily. She then asked for a few more months paying the old rent before she started paying the $100 more.

It’s now four months after she said she would start, and Callie is still not paying the extra $100 in rent. My partner pays their full one-fourth, Callie pays what she did in our old apartment, and I pay the remainder. Callie gets her own room, and it’s the larger of the two bedrooms, to boot. This was so my partner and I could have our own bathroom, except that she’s started calling the main bathroom “her bathroom.” And on top of that, I learned that our rent is going to go up significantly when the lease is up, since newer luxury buildings aren’t rent stabilized in my city.

I’m starting to feel like this is all really unfair. I’ve offered to help