Math teacher argues Pi Day should be July 22

a circle and pi = 3.14 written on a chalkboard — Agree or not, it means you have an excuse to eat pie today. *Image: DepositPhotos*

Excerpted from Math for English Majors by Ben Orlin. September 2024, Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers. Published with permission.

Every March 14, the mathematical world observes its favorite holiday by canceling lessons, gorging itself on pie, and reciting the decimal expansion of math’s most revered constant. Young and old, pure and applied, algebraist and analyst, we all gather to celebrate Pi Day.

Except…Okay, I take that back. Most of us celebrate. A few grinches prefer to grumble about it.

We’ll come back to them, but first: What is pi? It’s the number of diameters (the distance across a circle) you’d need to equal the circumference (the distance around a circle). Roughly speaking, three acrosses equal one around.

*Courtesy of Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers*

More specifically, the around is about 3.14 times the across. Even more specifically, it’s about 3.141 592 653 589 793 times. Hyperspecifically, it’s 3.141 592 653 589 793 238 462 643 383 279 502 884 197 169 399 375 105 820 974 944 592 307 816 406 286 208 998 628 034 825 342 117…

I can get more specific, but never specific enough, because this number, known as π or pi, is irrational. As in, not a ratio. No fraction can express it. No decimal either. We can’t even pull a trick like when we wrote 0.3̅ for 1⁄3, because π’s digits don’t settle into a repeating pattern. Around every corner is a new, never-before-seen digit sequence. I have heard 12-year-olds recite a hundred digits from memory. And that’s nothing compared to the 70,030 digits reeled off by Suresh Kumar Sharma in October 2015, over the course of 17 (presumably agonizing) hours.

So why does this drive mathematicians batty? With apologies to Dr. Seuss, I find it easiest to express their lack of holiday cheer through rhyme.

Every kid in the classroom liked Pi Day a lot.
But the Grinch in the faculty lounge did not!

grinch-like character standing grumpily with a dog and sign that says 'pi day party 3/14' — *Courtesy of Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers*

This, to the Grinch, was the dumbest of seasons,
and asked or unasked, he would rattle off reasons:
“In the US, it’s said the date 3 slash 14
is March the 14th. That’s what ‘Pi Day’ must mean.
But the rest of the world gives the day, then the month!
So 3 slash 14 is the 3rd of Kerplumph,
a month, I assure you, that does not exist.
And that is just one of the gripes on my list.

grinch grimacing at calendar with a coffee cup that says #1 pedant — *Courtesy of Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers*.

This horrible day that transfixes the nation,
is built on a lousy approximization.
22 over 7 comes closer to pi.
So let’s wait till that date, out in mid-late-July.

grinch in front of a board arguing pi is closer to 22/7 than 3.14 — *Courtesy of Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers*.

Besides which, old pi is an artifact now.
The cool mathematicians all venerate tau.

grinch looking at circles demonstrating radii per semicircle and radii per circle. a scared book lays on the tbale — *Courtesy of Black Dog and Leventhal Publishers*.

And have I brought up how it eats me alive,
the 3 point 1 4 1 5 9 2 6 5?
How it just rambles on, and it fills me with hate.
3 5 8 9 7 9 3 2 3 8!All those meaningless digits!
The hot wasted breath!
Oh, it bores me to tears.
No, it bores me to death.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again:
Those numbers mean nothing outside of base ten.
Besides which, the digits are ones no one needs.
Past 30 or 40, they’re useless as Thneeds.
For a circle a million light-years in width,
your digits could stop at the mere 25th,
and still you could calc