After losing a friend to drugs, one woman finds healing through intuition, psychic mediumship and trusting her inner voice.
Trigger warning: This story contains themes readers may find upsetting.
Many years ago, I lost a friend. We were 23. It rocked my world. He died from drugs. Although no one would have called him an addict, that’s what it was. We all took party drugs, but the amount he took exceeded normal levels. Eventually, his body gave up.
He was fun on drugs and I fell for this. We had a short love affair just before I left for Amsterdam. Not on drugs, he was a different person with zero self-esteem and no longer fun. I was kind of glad I was leaving and getting out of this sticky mess I’d gotten myself into.
He hadn’t wanted me to leave. He had told me I was the best thing that ever happened to him. But I still left. I was in London, at a friend’s place, when I was told the news. What followed was like a mini hell. I blamed myself. One of the strongest memories I have from this time is standing on the platform waiting for the tube, and as the train came, telling myself to jump in front of it. I didn’t, thank God.
The guilt I felt from abandoning him wracked me for years. Finally, two decades later, I found my cure. I saw a psychic medium.
Over the years, I had seen many psychics. I found it fascinating how someone could accurately describe parts of my life. I seemed to always go when I was at a crossroads in my life or some decision was weighing on my mind. I always walked away feeling clearer, more confident and knowing what I had to do.
During this reading, after the psychic part (psychic is connecting with spirit for life guidance; mediumship is connecting with the spirit of someone passed), I asked if we could connect with him. It was the first time I had experienced this. I was blown away.
The medium described him perfectly, even things I didn’t know. She shared messages from him — that he’d been deeply depressed since high school and didn’t know what to do about it. That he wasn’t thinking about his actions and what he was doing to himself. He reassured me there was nothing that I or anyone could have done and acknowledged he had support around him. He said he was sorry if he ever hurt me and was grateful for the connection we had. He was at peace.
I cannot begin to describe how much this information helped me. All the pain I had in my heart around him dissolved. I could absolve myself from any responsibility and know I was appreciated.
At the time, I was also getting into developing my intuition, the precursor for psychic ability. I’ve always b