The competition for No. 1 in this week’s Misery Index was perhaps as fierce as it’s ever been. So many schools regretting the choices that led them here, so many athletics directors and boosters who had the wool pulled over their eyes. You think inflation is bad at the grocery store these days? The same college football mediocrity that would have cost $10 million to pull the plug on 15 years ago is now a $70 million-or-more proposition.
It’s a vicious cycle, too. Sink in a lot of money, realize the results aren’t changing, sink in more money and hope. But desperation does not usually lead to great decisions, which brings us to the decision Miami made last December.
It is perfectly justifiable for any college football program to hire Mario Cristobal. Very good recruiter, good guy, and a coach who is unlikely to embarrass you. But the reason Miami hired Cristobal is largely because he’s one of them: A Miami native, a Hurricane alum, a guy who knows every nook and cranny of South Florida.
To lure Cristobal, Miami had to reportedly lay out at least $80 million over 10 years – nearly double his Oregon salary – along with other major financial commitments that the school was previously reluctant to make. That makes sense if you’re getting Nick Saban or Urban Meyer. If you’re doing it for the guy who was merely pretty good at Oregon, it’s a gamble that might well suck your program deeper into the vortex of despair.
There has been no larger gap between investment/expectations and results this season than Miami, which lost 45-31 to Middle Tennessee on Saturday. There’s no way to spin this: It’s a putrid loss for the 2-2 Hurricanes, who look no different (and maybe a bit worse) than the teams of the last couple years that got Manny Diaz fired.
Everything about this performance was bad for Miami, which entered the game as a 25½-point favorite and immediately fell behind 17-3. Tyler Van Dyke, considered a potential all-ACC quarterback in the preseason, was benched in the third quarter. Miami had a window of opportunity to get back in the game but didn’t convert a fourth-and-goal from the 1-yard line to start the fourth quarter and then gave up a 98-yard touchdown pass on the very next play.
When you’re allowing 16.3 yards per passing attempt to a Middle Tennessee team that lost 44-7 to James Madison earlier this year, that’s a problem. When you’re only able to run it 38 times for 60 yards against a Conference USA-quality defense, that’s almost unforgivable.
The team’s energy was bad. The crowd in Hard Rock Stadium was bad. The coaching was bad. It was the exact same Miami script of the last decade and a half, only at a much higher price and with a team that was projected to be solidly in the top 25.
HIGHS AND LOWS: Winners and losers led by Clemson, Tennessee
WHAT YOU MISSED: Texas A&M, Kansas State top the five biggest things
LETTER GRADES: Our report card looks at the best and worst of Week 4
MISERY INDEX: Miami still mediocre despite massive investment in Cristobal
TOP 25 RUNDOWN: Scores and results from the biggest games in Week 4
That’s why Miami edges out the field for the top spot on the Misery Index, a weekly measurement of which fan bases are feeling the most angst about the state of their favorite program.
Four more in misery
Michigan State: Speaking of investments and contracts that are unlikely to yield the desired result, the Spartans making Mel Tucker one of the sport’s highest-paid coaches with a 10-year, $95 million contract looks ludicrous at the moment.
Tucker obviously did a terrific job in 2021, leading the Spartans to an 11-2 record and No. 8 ranking. But it was only his third year as a head coach, including a 5-7 season at Colorado in 2019 and a 2-5 record in 2020 that was difficult to measure because of the COVID-19 situation. Maybe Tucker will turn out to be one of the game’s elite coaches. Or maybe 2021 was a complete fluke. Either way, Michigan State was so worried about Tucker being poached by LSU or some other blueblood job that it gave him a contract so far above the market he couldn’t say no.
That’s not Tucker’s fault, obviously. But when you sign that kind of deal, the minimum expectation is competence.
Michigan State, at the moment, does not look like a competent football program after losing 34-7 to Minnesota in a game that was never competitive. On the heels of Sparty’s 39-28 faceplant last week at Washington – a game that wasn’t nearly as close as the final score – it would be natural if there’s some buyer’s remorse. But given that Tucker is owed 100% of his contract if he’s fired, the reality is he’s going to have to find a way to make things work or else it’s going to be very uncomfortable in East Lansing the next few years.
Texas: Pointing out ways in which the Longhorns are not “back” is a hobby for all college football fans, but there’s a pretty clear trend that is holding them back from being, well, back. They just can’t finish. In Steve Sarkisian’s 16 games as head coach, he now has nine losses after falling 37-34 in overtime at Texas Tech.