NFL picks against the spread, Week 16: 49ers-Ravens, Christmas Day games and more

Opening Line: Saints -1

Schuster: Saints +4

Four points on a short week feels like enough for a Saints team that did what it was supposed to against the Giants.

Grimes: Rams -4

The better-coached team at home in a short week will get it done.

Curtis: Rams -4

L.A. has been playing better as of late and will cover this one with ease.

Darney: Rams -4

The Rams have looked super solid the last few games, so rolling with Matthew Stafford.

Zeglinski: Rams -4

Matthew Stafford is DEALING right now. No one, and I mean no one, should want to play these Rams.

D’Andrea: Rams -4

New Orleans is competent enough to cover but Los Angeles is on a heater and at home.

Opening Line: Bengals -2.5

Schuster: Bengals -2

The Steelers might win this one, but I have zero confidence to pick them.

Grimes: Bengals -2

LOL. I’m not picking Mason Rudolph.

Curtis: Bengals -2

This spread should be … three points more?

Darney: Steelers +2

So, I desperately want to pick against the Steelers, but Rudolph leading a crummy team to victory the week of Christmas? How do you pick against that.

Zeglinski: Bengals -2

Rudolph is helping Santa bring coal for naughty Steelers fans this Christmas.

D’Andrea: Steelers +2

Mason Rudolph is 5-4-1 as a starter in his Pittsburgh career. He’s not good, but he can hold things together long enough for the Steelers to do something in spite of him.

Opening Line: Bills -1

Schuster: Bills -12

How was this line ever at one point? This should be a Buffalo blowout.

Grimes: Bills -12

I’ll take the team playing against the team that just gave up 63.

Curtis: Bills -12

Can’t bet on Easton Stick until … never.

Darney: Bills -12

Easton Stick, you’re gonna have a bad time.

Zeglinski: Bills -12

The Bills can win the Super Bowl if they make the playoffs. The Chargers are not going to stop this stampede. I almost feel insulted by the mere suggestion!

D’Andrea: Chargers +12

I’m riding a Rhode Island Scumbag tenet and betting on the team that just fired its head coach to see how its players react. Also, that’s a lot of points.

Opening Line: Vikings -1

Schuster: Lions -3

The Vikings defense won’t look as shaky as they did last week but the Lions should still be too much.

Grimes: Lions -3

Is Detroit finally back in winning form? One can only hope.

Curtis: Lions -3

I get nervous about divisional games, but I have to think last week’s Detroit is the one we’ll see this week.

Darney: Lions -3

Woooo buddy I am IN on the Lions in December. This feels so weird!

Zeglinski: Lions -3

The Lions are past their odd midseason slump, and should scare the other NFC superpowers. The Vikings are the Vikings — a living breathing disappointment of a football team that only serves to mercilessly torture The Land of 10,000 lakes.

D’Andrea: Vikings +3

The Lions are 1-3 when Jared Goff gets sacked at least three times. Brian Flores is gonna inundate him with blitzes and hope it’s enough to defend Minnesota’s home turf.

Opening Line: Jets -5.5

Schuster: Commanders +3

Thank you, next.

Grimes: Commanders +3

Washington’s defense is bad, but I’m not confident New York can take advantage if Zach Wilson is out. Can’t believe I just typed that out loud.

Curtis: Commanders +3

One of the weirder spreads of the week, especially if Zach Wilson is out.

Darney: Commanders +3

I, for one, am SHOCKED that Aaron Rodgers didn’t have a miracle recovery. If they also don’t have Zach Wilson? Yikes.

Zeglinski: Jets -3

The NFL is such a funny place because, by the end of every season, there are at least 2-3 hopeless games like this every week that mean absolutely nothing. And, more importantly, they are only still being broadcasted because of TV deal obligations.

D’Andrea: Jets -3

I’d like the Commanders a lot more if Jacoby Brissett were starting.

Opening Line: Packers -1

Schuster: Packers -5.5

Carolina’s surprising win last week was less about the Panthers than it was the Falcons being the Falcons.

Grimes: Packers -5.5

I had a feeling Carolina would take a crap on me last week. Let’s hope they don’t it again.

Curtis: Packers -5.5

If you’re a playoff contender, Green Bay, you win this one by 10.

Darney: Packers -5.5

Jordan Love should be insulted that the spread isn’t larger.

Zeglinski: Packers -5.5

Jordan Love (thankfully) fell back to Earth but holy cow does Green Bay have fundamental issues as an organization if it can’t blow the Panthers out.

D’Andrea: Packers -5.5

Carolina’s offense has scored more than 13 points just once since Halloween. It’s almost Christmas. Enjoy your get-right game, Green Bay defense.

Opening Line: Browns -4

Schuster: Browns -2.5

Even without knowing C.J. Stroud’s status it’s easy to rely on the Browns’ defense to muddy this game up.

Grimes: Browns -2.5

I feel a lot better about this pick knowing it’s not likely to be C.J. Stroud suiting up for Houston.

Curtis: Browns -2.5

Even though the Texans pulled off a miracle last week, it’s not happening without C.J. Stroud this week.

Darney: Browns -2.5

This team is held together with chewing gum and paperclips at this point and they still are making things work.

Zeglinski: Browns -2.5

This is a different line with C.J. Stroud. Unfortunately for the Texans, they are starting Case Keenum instead. The Browns’ magical season from out of nowhere should continue.

D’Andrea: Browns -2.5

Case Keenum struggled against the Titans defense. Now he gets Cleveland’s top three unit. Godspeed.

Opening Line: Falcons -3

Schuster: Colts +1

I don’t even know what to say about the Falcons anymore.

Grimes: Colts +1

The Falcons won’t get me again.

Curtis: Colts +1

Sorry, Arthur Smith. I have zero trust in you.

Darney: Falcons -1

LOL please do not watch this game.

Zeglinski: Colts +1

This is a matchup of polar opposite head coaches. In one corner of the ring, you have Arthur Smith, who has somehow bungled proper usage of three separate top 10 draft picks. In the other, you have Shane Steichen, a guy who has turned Gardner friggin’ Minshew into a playoff-caliber quarterback. It’s obvious where I’m leaning here.

D’Andrea: Colts +1

Who are the Falcons going to let down this week, bettors who are pushing this line toward Indianapolis or their own fans, futilely searching for playoff success?

Opening Line: Seahawks -2

Schuster: Seahawks -2.5

How can you not love the way Seattle is fighting right now? Not even going on the road changes that.

Grimes: Seahawks -2.5

Only one of these teams still thinks it has a shot at the playoffs.

Curtis: Seahawks -2.5

The guts this team has shown as of late are impressive.

Darney: Seahawks -2.5

DREW LOCK BABY.

Zeglinski: Seahawks -2.5

I will never doubt a team with destiny vibes. Pete Carroll can flat-out coach, man.

D’Andrea: Titans +2.5

I have no faith in either team, so give me the home team laying points.

Opening Line: Jaguars -3.5

Schuster: Jaguars +1

The Bucs were good last week which means they’ll be inexplicably bad again this time around.

Grimes: Jaguars +1

I still have a hard time trusting the Bucs (read: Baker Mayfield).

Curtis: Jaguars +1

The Bucs are good but the Jags are … good-er.

Darney: Bucs -1

I have NO idea.

Zeglinski: Buccaners -1

What’s the state of the Jaguars’ organization if Baker Mayfield vs. Trevor Lawrence is a legitimate conversation in a playoff push for both teams? Get it together, Doug Pederson, my god.

D’Andrea: Buccaneers -1

It looks like it’ll be CJ Beathard in Tampa, which, oh no.

Opening Line: Dolphins -1.5

Schuster: Cowboys +1.5

The Dolphins continue to beat the bad teams easily but I can’t trust them against contenders yet. Even if one of those contenders is a Cowboys looking to prove it can win in December.

Grimes: Dolphins -1.5

Two good teams incredibly hard to trust against other good teams. I’ll roll with the tough to trust home team.

Curtis: Dolphins -1.5

I don’t love this one but I’ll back the Fins in what should be a tight one.

Darney: Cowboys +1.5

Fine, I’ll take the bait. This is an impossible pick with teams that seem to crumble when playing good teams this season.

Zeglinski: Dolphins -1.5

Miami is almost hilariously bruised and battered but the Cowboys’ secondary is embarrassing. I love that we’re getting a matchup of likely pretenders like this this late in the year.

D’Andrea: Dolphins -1.5

Do you back the Cowboys on the road or the Dolphins vs. a playoff team? Absolutely brutal decision. Gonna be a rough one for me when this ends in a tie that satisfies no one.

Opening Line: Bears -4.5

Schuster: Bears -4

The Bears legitimately might win out their remaining schedule.

Grimes: Cardinals +4

Cards showed they still have some fight left in them in last week’s loss to San Fran.

Curtis: Cardinals +4.

Ugh, I will not be betting on this one in real life.

Darney: Cardinals +4

Ew, no thank you.

Zeglinski: Bears -4

Montez Sweat is playing like a franchise pass rusher. Jaylon Johnson is playing like a franchise cornerback. T.J. Edwards and Tremaine Edmunds are playing like franchise linebackers. So … how are the Cardinals gonna score points, exactly?

D’Andrea: Bears -4

Chicago has a top-two defense since Week 10. Arizona has a bottom 10 passing offense since Kyler Murray returned from injury.

Opening Line: Broncos -2

Schuster: Broncos -6.5

This is too many points but I’m not even sure the Patriots can score two touchdowns.

Grimes: Patriots +6.5.

Maybe the demons of Super Bowl 49 will come out to haunt Russell Wilson in Foxborough? Or just Bailey Zappe.

Curtis: Broncos -6.5

Nope, not doing it, Bill.

Darney:  Broncos -6.5

Man, the Pats are just bad. I don’t think the Broncos are good, but I’m being told I have to make a pick.

Zeglinski: Broncos -6.5

Bill Belichick should’ve retired and rode off into the sunset after that sixth Super Bowl win instead of dragging this charade out for another five years.

D’Andrea: Broncos -6.5

Why are we subjecting families to this on Christmas Eve? Wouldn’t a reindeer snuff film be more appropriate and easier to watch?

Opening Line: Chiefs -9.5

Schuster: Chiefs -10

Arrowhead on Christmas Day is going to be a real challenge for the Raiders.

Grimes: Chiefs -10

Which Chiefs receiver is going to disappoint all of us riding the Chiefs this week?

Curtis: Chiefs -10

Again, a divisional game, but the Chiefs will be at home.

Darney: Chiefs -10

Merry Christmas to me, I get to see Taylor Swift on my screen. Hopefully Santa will get the Chiefs some receivers.

Zeglinski: Chiefs -10

The Raiders are playing a division rival that hasn’t given up on its coach. Proceed accordingly.

D’Andrea: Chiefs -10

I like this a lot more at Chiefs -9.5 and fully understand the world is perpetually one Kadarius Toney drop away from Kansas City failing to cover.

Opening Line: Eagles -7.5

Schuster: Giants +12

Too many bad vibes going into a game on Christmas — in Philly. The Eagles win, but it won’t be fun.

Grimes: Eagles +12

I would’ve liked the Giants a lot more before they lost to New Orleans by 18. And before the Eagles lost a third straight, which surely has them ready to take it out on someone.

Curtis: Eagles -12

Tommy Cutlets is about to be fried.

Darney: Eagles -12

Get right game for Philly?

Zeglinski: Giants +12

What have the uninspiring Eagles — who are coming apart at the seams — done to inspire THIS much confidence against a plucky rival that would LOVE to spoil their season? C’mon now. This line is just ridiculous.

D’Andrea: Giants +12

That’s too many points for a divisional rivalry, even one with Tommy DeVito heavily involved.

Opening Line: 49ers -3

Schuster: Ravens +5.5

And I think Baltimore wins straight up, too.

Grimes: Ravens +5.5

Underdogs are having a year on MNF. And the Ravens aren’t your typical underdogs.

Curtis: Ravens +5.5

I think the Niners are the best team in the NFL by a lot, but I think this has to be a closer game than this large of a spread.

Darney: 49ers -5.5

I was tempted to go Ravens, but all my lovely coworkers did to so I’m going to take the also really good 49ers.

Zeglinski: Ravens +5.5

Super Bowl preview! Woo!!! If anyone can slay the 49ers, it’s Lamar Jackson, one of the best football wizards the NFL’s ever seen. Anyway, I’ll see you all here again in just about two months.

D’Andrea: Ravens +5.5

Baltimore has the tackling to tamp down huge runs after the catch and the escapability to keep things close (if not win outright).