NFL Power Rankings Week 8: Tom Brady and Aaron Rodgers are on their last legs

Last week’s rank: 28

One thing you can say for Lovie Smith’s Texans is that they compete their tails off. Dameon Pierce rarely goes down on first contact. Davis Mills and his ragtag receivers usually sling the ball around the field. And Derek Stingley Jr. and Jalen Pitre look like legit long-term puzzle pieces in the secondary. But this is the worst team in the league, bar none. Because even on the Texans’ best afternoons, they’re still surrendering 38 points to opponents who are multiple games below .500. Houston can compete but not at a high level until the requisite talent is there to match.

Last week’s rank: 27

With Russell Wilson out thanks to a partially torn hamstring, Denver got a glimpse of life without their famed QB against the Jets. And it wasn’t great, Bob! Backup Brett Rypien needed 46 attempts (!) to reach 225 yards passing as the Broncos’ offense was, again, stuck in neutral. This performance was a reminder that without Wilson in the picture, the Broncos as a team are somehow an even more morose, uninspired football club.

Last week’s rank: 32

The Panthers, as an organization, might not be trying to win anymore. But with stellar talents like Brian Burns and D.J. Moore still hanging around (for now), Sunday’s laugher at the expense of Tom Brady had to be quite the revelation. If Carolina does indeed keep pieces like Burns and Moore for the future instead of trading them at the deadline, then they might already have a foundation worth building around.

Last week’s rank: 25

The defense has been bad all year. Now the offense is falling apart thanks to injuries and Jared Goff’s expected regression to the mean. Detroit had to play the bulk of Sunday’s loss to the Cowboys without D’Andre Swift, Amon-Ra St. Brown, or DJ Chark, leaving the heavy lifting to TJ Hockenson (OK!), Kalif Raymond, and Brock Wright (oh no). That’s not really a problem, though; the Lions have sunk their way to the top of 2023’s draft order, where a bounty of quarterback help awaits.

Last week’s rank: 29

On paper, the Browns should be better than this. Jacoby Brissett is, statistically, an average to above-average quarterback. He’s got the best running back in the game to do the heavy lifting. The defense behind him and Nick Chubb is filled with young stars. But each week, Cleveland fails to meet those modest expectations and usually in gut-wrenching Browns fashion. Four of this team’s five losses have come by three points or fewer. Deshaun Watson’s return from an 11-game suspension following more than 20 accusations of sexual misconduct and what the NFL described as “predatory” behavior will help things, but not enough in 2022.

Last week’s rank: 31

We understand this has been one of the more chaotic and unpredictable NFL seasons in recent memory, but it doesn’t seem like anyone saw the Bears absolutely clocking Bill Belichick’s Patriots on the road. How did they do it? They ran their offense through Justin Fields, letting one of pro football’s best athletes put on a show with his arm and legs. Oh, and that rising Chicago defense, led by rookie Jaquan Brisker, turned Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe into pumpkins. A dominant and disciplined performance like this affirms Chicago’s ongoing rebuild with GM Ryan Poles and head coach Matt Eberflus.

Last week’s rank: 21

The Falcons trailed 21-0 early in this game, and Marcus Mariota still only threw 13 passes. Arthur Smith is taking his run-first offense extremely seriously at the expense of Kyle Pitts and Drake London. It may win a few more games on the road to 6-11, but it’s thoroughly painful to watch.

Last week’s rank: 30

How bout’ them Commanders? Washington outclassed (yes, outclassed) the similarly listless Packers on Sunday, and suddenly it has a breath of life in the NFC. Actually, the Commanders aren’t going anywhere because, well, they reside in the NFC Beast, and they’re still quite putrid overall. But, after beating up on a long-time NFC bully, they’ve certainly earned the right to wear the customary cheesehead like it’s a trophy.

Last week’s rank: 19

With the way this Packers season is going, Aaron Rodgers might return for the (third) Last Dance next season. He has the excuses loaded up already! A thumb injury. A terrible supporting cast. Truly, he can take that “door” if he wants to. (Heaven forbid he ever blames himself on an intrinsic level.) However, for the NFL’s answer to Goldilocks, we’d advise seeing the forest for the trees and to start learning how to quit. The time for quitting while he was ahead has long since come and gone.

Last week’s rank: 13

Yes, sure, there’s a quarterback controversy brewing between Mac Jones and Bailey Zappe. None of that is going to matter, however, if the defense that was this team’s backbone the past few weeks implodes as it did Monday night against the Bears. New England had no answer for Justin Fields’ pressure-escaping runs, and the league’s 30th-ranked scoring offense put up 33 points in Foxborough. That’s a problem.

Last week’s rank: 22

As long as the Jaguars continue to slide, most of the focus around this squad will concern Trevor Lawrence. And rightfully so. But it’s not like Lawrence and the Jags aren’t putting their best foot forward. They’ve now lost four consecutive games by one score. It’s a picture-perfect “not tanking, we’re competing, but we’re still going to get a good draft pick in April” rebuild “plan.”

Last week’s rank: 24

Kenny Pickett never looked uncomfortable per se against the Dolphins, but it’d be a stretch to say he looked “good.” The rookie QB will have to learn to take what the defense gives him, especially after his mind-boggling turnovers in the clutch. The Pitt alum should also keep in mind that if he doesn’t play better, the Steelers very well could be in an optimal position to draft his (likely more talented) replacement in the spring. No pressure!

Last week’s rank: 12

Tom Brady may have driven a wedge into his family — no speculation here — just to come back and lose to a team with no permanent head coach, no top running back, and neither of the top two quarterbacks on the depth chart from the preseason. And he lost by 18 points. To XFL legend PJ Walker. I know Brady’s good for one brain fart game per season (remember that 2020 loss to the Bears where he wanted five downs?), but this is a new low.

Last week’s rank: 23

The Raiders used their bye week to perfection, scheming up a wonderfully balanced offensive game plan for the lowly Texans. Davante Adams (eight catches, 95 yards) and Josh Jacobs (143 rushing yards, three touchdowns), in particular, were complete dynamos against a Houston defense that had no answer. If Las Vegas can start to get the ball rolling for the invisible Darren Waller in bigger games, watch out for its rise from the dead.

Last week’s rank: 26

Having DeAndre Hopkins back opens up the Cardinals’ offense considerably, but we didn’t really get to see that in action in Week 7 since the Saints were happy to let the Cardinals’ defense do the heavy lifting. Still, Kyler Murray finally has a wideout who can get reliably open and drastically reduce the time he spends making reads in the pocket.

i don’t completely buy the “Kyler’s passing is bad because DeAndre Hopkins is out” theory but my god does Nuk make things easier for him pic.twitter.com/UFQz5AprnV

— Christian D’Andrea (@TrainIsland) October 21, 2022

Now we get to see if Robbie Anderson can add any value as a vertical threat to Kliff Kingsbury’s poorly-aging offense.

Last week’s rank: 18

New Orleans’ offense racked up nearly 170 more yards of total offense than the Cardinals last week, and it didn’t matter because Andy Dalton threw one end zone interception and two pick-sixes — amazingly, all in the first half.

Well, at least we got this piece of modern art out of it:

this camera angle is absolute poetry pic.twitter.com/BuDZXLC1eA

— Christian D’Andrea (@TrainIsland) October 21, 2022

Last week’s rank: 17

Just when you think the Colts have pieced it all together, they get swept in the de facto AFC South title game against the Titans. Fun fact: Jonathan Taylor has just one 100-yard rushing effort in five games this season — roughly the same pace he’s on as last year before getting scorching hot. Before his injury, a (probably washed up) Matt Ryan was averaging 42 pass attempts a game. The Colts cannot continue leaning on Sam Ehlinger in the same manner if they want to salvage anything out of 2022.

Last week’s rank: 16

Making Justin Herbert boring is a crime, and Brandon Staley is guilty as heck. Los Angeles worked all offseason to fix its biggest problems, which have yet to take effect. The rushing defense is giving up more yards per carry than last year’s awful mark. The offensive line remains disastrous, preventing Herbert from moving the ball downfield. And now JC Jackson, who’s been awful to start his Charger career, is likely out for the season. The Chargers might finish 2022 with a winning record but won’t scare anyone in the playoffs. How very Chargers of them.

Last week’s rank: 11

Jimmy Garoppolo is the same player he’s always been. Kyle Shanahan is hoping adding Christian McCaffrey as a pass-catching option from the backfield will deaden some of his most destructive instincts. The former Panther only had two targets in his 49ers debut but rolled up 27 yards after the catch to prove he can be a viable option in San Francisco’s “we really, really, really need our skill players to step up” offense.

Last week’s rank: 10

New York is 5-2, and it’s in no way sustainable unless Zach Wilson begins throwing the ball downfield. His longest completion in Week 7, by air yards, came eight yards beyond the line of scrimmage. He won’t have Breece Hall to carry his offense going forward, and a punishing defense will face a lot tougher tests than the blundering Broncos in the next few weeks.

Last week’s rank: 20

Tua Tagovailoa’s return saw the Dolphins muster up just 16 points. That won’t cut it in the suddenly loaded AFC East. But a secondary led by Jevon Holland, which baited Kenny Pickett into multiple turnovers, is showing it can survive even without complementary offensive support. But yeah — Miami and Mike McDaniel still need more from Tagavailoa et al.

Last week’s rank: 15

We’re at the midseason point and the Seattle Seahawks, quarterbacked by Geno Smith, are the NFC’s No. 3 seed. How did we get here? Well, for one, Pete Carroll is probably doing the best coaching job of his career with a weak roster. Meanwhile, Smith, the formerly much-maligned second-round pick, is playing cool and composed. And confidence goes a long way. Let this be a lesson to us all.  When the haters write letters to you, never write back.

Last week’s rank: 14

Los Angeles had the week off to recalibrate following a 3-3 start that includes zero wins over teams with .500 records or better. Matthew Stafford is struggling behind a rebuild and injury-laden offensive line and has thrown more interceptions (eight) than touchdowns (six). That’s a concern, but this defense is still churning at a high level, so if the offense can get average play from its passing game and a run offense that’s been disastrous so far, it’s easy to see how the Rams can make a playoff run.

Last week’s rank: 8

Aside from a trick pitch straight to Lamar Jackson on a crucial fourth down, Mark Andrews was a non-factor against the Browns. He contributed precisely zero catches for zero yards. And the Ravens, somehow, won anyway. Winning without a major contribution from its No. 1 receiving target might be the clearest sign Baltimore is starting to turn a corner toward consistency.

Last week’s rank: 7

Sunday marked five straight wins over the Indianapolis Colts, even if it wasn’t especially exciting. Mike Vrabel’s defense stepped up to provide cover for a low-wattage passing attack, forcing three turnovers, sacking Matt Ryan three times, and hitting him 10 more. The Titans aren’t going to win many shootouts, but they’re happy to drag you to their level and grind you into dust on both sides of the ball.

Last week’s rank: 6

Are the one-loss Vikings actually good? Are they smoke and mirrors? Have they been pulling an elaborate ruse on all of us silly fools, only to have the ground collapse beneath them anyway? We’re not entirely sure about the correct answers to these questions. One thing is for certain: The NFC North is a flaming dumpster fire, and right now, the Vikings are sitting pretty just outside of that mess.

Last week’s rank: 9

The Bengals finally rediscovered the scariest version of themselves as Joe Burrow threw for three touchdowns in the first half alone vs. a depleted Atlanta Falcons secondary. Burrow finished his day with 481 passing yards, 378 of which went to Ja’Marr Chase, Tee Higgins, and Tyler Boyd. Cincinnati remains a “pick your poison” proposition through the air, though its questionable offensive line could be the key to making sure Burrow can’t roast you downfield.

Last week’s rank: 5

Daniel Jones has the sixth-best QBR in pro football. Saquon Barkley is the NFL’s second-leading rusher. And Wink Martindale continues to coordinate an elite defense that is letting New York hang around every game. The 6-1 Giants can ball, there’s no question about it. In a strange season for the league, we might even be talking about Big Blue as a Super Bowl contender. Brian Daboll — take a bow, sir.

Last week’s rank: 4

Dallas’s defense has been so good it’s easy to see how this team can win games with merely average quarterbacking. That’s what the Cowboys got in Week 7, where Dak Prescott’s return to the lineup resulted in a low-key 207 passing yards and one touchdown. This was totally fine; that defense held a depleted Lions team to six points, and now Dallas is 5-2 and a clear favorite to be one of the NFC’s seven playoff teams.

Last week’s rank: 3

Patrick Mahomes (and Juju Smith-Schuster and Travis Kelce) took out their lingering Bills frustrations on the 49ers and their elite defense. After a seemingly effortless 44-point outburst centered around spreading the wealth, Sunday was a reminder that really only one team can match Kansas City shot for shot. Maybe two teams. Maybe.

Last week’s rank: 2

Buffalo had the week off. Its absence was felt in a string of lackluster Week 7 games in primetime and 1 p.m. alike. Josh Allen has more passing yards in his last two games (753) than Zach Wilson has in his entire 4-0 start to 2022 (692). Those two square off in Week 9, which should be … interesting.

Last week’s rank: 1

We’ve reached the point where it’s time to start wondering when the currently undefeated Eagles will actually lose a game. Right now, Philly doesn’t play an opponent with a winning record until a home date with the Titans in early December. So, let’s go with that as the first possibility, knowing the Eagles will likely continue to be unblemished for a little while.